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How to Stop Rage from Ruining Your Relationships

November 28, 2016

 

Is Anger Running and Ruining Your Life?

Blog Post by De-de Mulligan

I once dated a man who had real anger issues - he could be sweet and kind about 90% of the time but it was that 10% that did us in. He could not solve a stressful, complex issue without getting into some sort of rage - whether it was yelling into the phone, screaming at his daughter or getting mad at his fellow co-workers. And of course, a few times the wrath came upon me, upon which I promptly ended the relationship.

But what causes someone to get that angry and over things that a normal person wouldn't react that severely to? And what should you do if you are that type of person?

If You Find Yourself Getting Angry...

...Keep a cool head. Try and move away from the situation and count to 10, 100 or whatever works for you.

...Recognize your triggers. Everyone has certain past events or people that will move them to anger. A phone call from your ex who knows just where to dig or an employee who unwittingly does something "wrong". When you start to see red, ask yourself if this is about the person in front of you or something in your past. If it is the latter, excuse yourself and move away from the incident.

...Determine if you were raised in an angry household. The man I dated was raised in an environment of constant criticisms and arguments. Not surprising, he and his ex-wife also constantly argued. I wasn't raised that way and found the arguing to be problematic. He thought it was "normal".

...Ask if you are really hurt, depressed or grief-ridden. Sometimes our anger is really a function of hurt. Being hurt is okay and it is best to own that feeling especially if you were fired from a job, bullied at work or went through a divorce. People understand hurt, they don't understand or appreciate anger.

...Develop an anger management plan. What are you going to do if you get angry? Especially on the road, in an airplane or in the office. Sometimes you just can't walk away from the situation because you are stuck in a plane, car or meeting.

...If you can, walk away. Nothing stops the anger faster than removing yourself from the situation.

...Slow down your breathing. Try and meditate if you can.

...Seek professional help. Sometimes the anger is so close to the surface, you need a licensed professional to work through the pain. Having someone help you find the source of your anger can be invaluable to establishing great relationships in the future.

The truth of the matter is we all get angry sometimes. This is a normal process of life - but most get through it by expressing it, talking about it and moving on.

Read Life Rage for More Ideas on Anger Management

Life Rage has great ideas about ways to manage your anger - no matter where you are. Order your book today by calling author Timothy A. Dimoff at 330-255-1101 Monday through Friday between the hours of 8 am to 5 PM. It is an invaluable resource to handle rage within yourself, as well as, dealing with others.

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